ang hindi ko maintindihan, bakit kailangan ikumpara mo yung buhay mo sa buhay ko? kailangan ba maranasan ko rin yung naranasan mo? na porque hindi ka nagpakasaya noon, hindi na rin kami pwedeng magpakasaya ngayon? dahil hindi mo naranasan, kailangan hindi rin namin maranasan? bakit kailangan pigilan mo ako sa mga gusto kong gawin?

ang dami dami kong naiisip, ang dami dami kong nararamdaman, pero hindi ko masabi sa’yo kasi ganyan, hindi mo maiintindihan. gusto mo ikaw lagi ang tama — kapag ayaw mo, ayaw mo. kapag gusto mo, dapat iyon mangyayari. alam kong nag-aalala ka, gusto mo yung nakabubuti sa amin, pero paano kung hindi naman iyon yung gusto ko? paano kung iba yung gusto kong gawin? paano kung gusto ko yung sumusubok?

bakit kailangan isumbat mo ang mga nagawa mo para gawin din namin? bakit hindi mo kayang sumuporta lang? hindi ba obligasyon nyo naman iyon? bakit kailangan niyong sabihin ng paulit ulit na parang hindi kami naging thankful sa ginawa niyo? bakit kailangan iparamdam mo na ako ang pinakamasamang anak sa buong mundo? bakit?

ang gago, gago ng life.

I couldn’t think of any title for this post plus feeling ko ‘yan ang mas appropriate para rito, and I admit na lampa naman talaga ako, so ayun. Siguro, ito na rin ang gagamitin ko sa mga susunod kong adbentyur. ;)

Anyway, our original plan was to climb Nagpatong Rock, pero sabi ng tour guide namin, named kuya Edward, mas okay raw na unahin namin ang Mt. Masungki para ‘pag uuwi na, tuloy tuloy na yung daan papunta sa Nagpatong. We really have no idea na sobrang hardcore (for beginners) na pala nung Mt. Masungki at akala namin simpleng akyat lang talaga. Kaya nag ‘G’ kami. Yun pala, nag tindi. Tipong ‘di na namin kakayanin mag-isa pang bundok after. Mehehe. Hindi rin naman pala alam ng tour guide namin na first timers kami. Hahaha!

Wala akong docu kung gaano kahaba ang binaybay ng trike namin papunta sa Brgy. Cuyambay, but swear, sobrang layo. It’s not my first time going to Tanay, pero ang layo pala talaga nung Brgy. Cuyambay. Nadaanan pa nga namin ang Sierra Madre resort e. But ayun, going back to Brgy. Cuyambay, nagpunta muna kami sa Tourism office nila para magparegister. Good catch na rin na nag-trike kami from Tanay hanggang sa Brgy. Cuyambay kahit na mas mahal. 500php ang binayad namin sa trike, but kung magjejeep ka from Tanay hanggang Sampaloc, 28php ang fair then 50php per head sa trike papuntang rgy. Cuyambay. Mas maganda talaga kung meron kayong sasakyan. Less hassle.

Moving forward, 100php ang registration per person ng 500php for the tour guide. Minimum members ay 5 per group, but since anim kami at pinayagan naman, mas maliit ang hatian.

Here’s Nica and me. Kami na lang yung dinala ni Kuyang Trike Driver para magparegister sa toursim office ng Brgy. Cuyambay kasi matarik yung dadaanan.

From left to right, Shine, Steve, Rona, Kuya Jhen, Me, Kuya Edward (our tour guide) and Nica in front.

It was exciting and fun at first kasi hindi mo pa dama ang pagod, pero kapag tumatagal, pahirap na ng pahirap. Nahilo pa nga ako, at legit na nanikip ang dibdib ko, wala pa kami sa kalagitnaan kaya naman binuhat na ng kasama ko ang aking bag. Super thankful talaga na ang babait nila at inaalalayaan ako palagi. The best talaga ang mga boys ng BFA batch 2017! Huhu. Feeling ko nga super pabigat ako sa kanila kasi napapabagal ang akyat namin dahil sa akin.

May mga nadaanan kaming iba pang bundok, pero wala siyang OL at part talaga siya ng way papunta sa Mt. Masungki.

May major stop over sa Mt. Ikmo, bale may tables do’n and mini tindahan. Ang cool nga ng mga signages, sayang hindi ko napicture-an. Nung una hindi ko maintindihan kasi akala ko yun yung tawag sa kanila like, kunwari, may isang sinkhole kaming nadaanan, then may nakalagay do’n “SING CHOLE”. Akala ko yun yung name nung butas, hindi pala. Narealize ko na lang nung nakakita pa ako ng isa pang signage, sabi “COME SIGHT” tas may kubo dun. “CAMP SITE” pala ang ibig sabihin. Mehehe.

Mahaba-habang akyat din yung nangyari, siguro inabot ng 3hrs? Kasi patigil-tigil kami gawa nga sa akin. Nadudulas ako tas nasusubsob, then hinihingal pa. Hindi naman kasi ako pala-labas at taong kwarto lang talaga ako plus, lampa nga kasi talaga kaya ayon. I feel bad lang kasi parang ang laki kong sagabal talaga e. Hahaha!

But ayun, despite of the pauses and breaks that we had to take para lang makahabol ako, nakaakyat naman kami sa itaas.

Friends, I must say hindi madali. Lalo na for me dahil I am scared of heights. Umiiyak ako habang tinatawid yung isang bato pappunta sa isa pang bato para maakyat namin yung tuktok ng Masungki. Mabuti na lang talaga inaalalayan ako ng mga kasama kong lalaki. Nahiya nga ako e, yung girl friend nung isa hindi niya naalalayan kasi ako yung inaalalayan. :(

The view was breathtaking. Hindi ko nakunan yung iba pang side kasi lulang-lula na ako. Pakiramdam ko hinahatak ako ng gravity pababa e.

Syempre, dahil successful namin naiakyat ang Mt. Masungki, ‘di pwedeng walang pictures. Ang cool nga ng tour guide namin kasi ang ganda ng mga shots niya!

Hindi ko akalain na makakaakyat ako sa ganito. I am so proud of myself, really. Iniyakan ko itong akyat na ito kasi hindi talaga ako dapat papayagan, at ayun, umiyak din ako while climbing, pero worth it lahat ng tears! Nakailang “Thank you Lord” din ako habang tinatahak ang bundok na ito e.

Ang dungis ko, sobra. Ako ang pinakamadungis sa amin gawa ng ako ang pinaka maraming subsob at dulas. Hahaha! And now, super sakit ng katawan ko. I can’t even sit without feeling pained. Huhu.

But wait! There are three things that I realized sa akyat na ito and I just want to include them in this post:

1. Mahal ko pala talaga ang buhay ko. It’s true that you’ll do everything to survive — you’ll forget your fears, you’ll neglect the pain, and you’ll do whatever it takes just to survive.
2. In every pain and hardship comes happiness and ease. Nakakapagod, oo. Sumakit buong katawan ko, oo. Nadulas ako, nasubsob ako, nagasgasan ako, nagkaroon ako ng pasa, at naiyak ako kasi ang hirap, oo, pero masaya. Worth it lahat sa dulo lalo na nung nasa taas na, especially nung nakababa na not just nakaya namin, but because safe kaming lahat nakababa. Hahaha!
3. Difficult situation makes a lot easier if you’re with the right people. Hindi lang sa akyat na ito, kasi totoo naman ‘di ba? Dumadali ang isang bagay kung tamang tao ang mga kasama mong gumawa nito. Sometimes, they become your motivation too, or inspiration para ipagpatuloy yung ginagawa mo.

So yeaaaah, I’ll look forward sa next kong adbentyur. Sobrang nag-enjoy ako rito kahit ngayon I feel like baldado. Nawala rin lahat ng iniisip ko, at pumalit lang kung paano ako makakauwi ng buhay e! Hahaha! I’ll look forward sa next kong adbentyur, and I hope sila pa rin ang kasama ko. ;)

P.S. almost of the photos were grabbed from Nica. ^_^

Holla! How are you pips? As for me, I’m doing fine. I chose to be, because you know, sometimes shit happens in life and that’s natural. You just need to be strong and wise enough to handle them. lol.

Ayway, I miss blogging and the days when I can still have some time writing in my room about my day, even though it seemed nonsense. So now, I’d just like to share some photographs I took during my summer escapades this month. We went to Nasugbu, Batangas (Calayo Island and Canyon Cove) last May 20, and May 26. It’s a family outing and a company outing.

The first outing was unplanned. I was supposed to be meeting a friend that day, but had to cancel it (I hate cancelling plans tho huhu) just to join the family outing. But glad I did ’cause it’s much fun spending the day with the people you’re really comfortable being with.

We didn’t check-in in a resort, we just rented a nipa hut along the shore, owned by a relative. You can also rent some tent to spend the night! I just wished we could, but sad that we had to go home that day too. (we got stuck in  traffic along Cavite for four fcking-long hours!!! We got home at 12 midnight, can you believe that??!)

Hello to my sister and I’s feet (and huge legs!!! he he he)One of the things I like in this place is the fine sand! If you’ll compare this to other beaches, the sand is not that white, but it’s one of the finest I’ve seen! Other beaches have rocks and seashells that can hurt your feet, but the sand in this place don’t have much so it’s okay to walk even though you don’t have slippers or any protection for your feet. You just have to endure the heat tho. Hehehe.

See, how awesome it could be to spend the night facing the shore. Ahhh, I wanna go back here again and do bonfire!

I’m amazed that the beach is just on the other side of the road to the people living there! I am jealous that they could go whenever they wanted anytime!!! Huhu.

The sea water, let’s now talk about the sea water: It’s really salty!!! I know it’s natural to be that salty, but I think it’s a bit more? But it’s okay. Though it was too hot that day, the water is colder than I expected. That’s why it’s okay to be swimming under the heat of the sun! Mehehe.

If I’m going to rate this beach experience, I’ll give it 4/5 stars!

And now, I’m going to talk about my Canyon Cove experience. The place is a beauty. The pools are big, but I really didn’t enjoy the sea and the sand. It has rocks and shells that made hard for me to walk barefeet. Lts of seaweed are also present in the sea water, and it made me scared to go further. I’m afraid that I might step onto something. Hehe. But it still good!

The first word that came into my mind is beautiful upon arriving. All of the exhausting feeling suddenly vanished due to the comforting vibe the resort have. The architectural view is satisfying.

I didn’t get the chance to swim and enjoy longer in the water because our time is limited only. Mas mahaba pa nga yung time ng biyahe, seryoso. The sun is also in its maximum that day and it’s very extra-extremely-very hot!!!!

I enjoyed the team building activities tho. I was able to talk to my other co-workers that I am not talking to in the office. I’m still that awkward girl in the corner, you know. I really prefer to be alone now. I realized that sometimes, we just need solitude to grow. But there are times that it’s also fun to be with new people and… environment. Honestly, these past few days inside the company is too toxic, but well, we must endure everything to survive.

Anyyyway, I also want to go back here with my family. Maybe after a year? Hehe. My rating to this experience would be 3.8/5

So that’s the highlight of my May! I thought my summer would be all boring and will only revolve around home and office, but it is not!

I’m excited for June and July tho. I already have plans to look forward too. I just hope nothing will happen to jeopardize everything.

I’ve been staring at my laptop’s screen for more than thirty minutes now, (and now an hour has passed, just to finish this post) trying to find the right words on how I should explain what I feel.

Empty? No. I know I feel something.
Bothered? Maybe? But to what?
Tired? Exhausted? Burnout? Anxious? Yes? But definitely not depressed.

I’ve been repressing my thoughts and emotions these past few months, hoping that if I don’t entertain them, they would stop. But I was wrong. And now it grew this much.

People who really knew me knows how much I love to write or talk to them about anything. Especially what I’m feeling. But now even that, I find too tiring. I don’t know why though. Parang nagsawa na ako. 

I haven’t been able to write also, or talk to a friend at least. One of the reasons is we are all busy. I am very busy. Wala akong time makadama ng kahit na ano, wala akong time gumawa ng kahit na ano. But at night when I’m travelling home, or when I’m about to sleep, my chest feels heavy. I suddenly want to cry, or scream, or just dance, or throw everything my hand could hold. Ang gulo diba? Hindi mo alam kung anong gagawin mo.

Even though I am able to do a lot at work, and finish all the jobs that are assigned to me, it seems that it’s still not enough; that I don’t achieve anything; that my life’s still stagnant. Walang fulfillment. Walang development. Wala pa rin kahit na parang ang dami mo nang nagawa.

Maybe I’m just tired — sa work (???). Or maybe there’s nothing new anymore. Everything just became a routine. I’ll wake up at 3am, go to work at 5, be at the office before 7, will render at least 4 hours of overtime, will go home. Sleep for 5 hours, lucky if I get home early and there’s no traffic. Repeat the cycle. Every. Boring. Day.

But.

I’m still thankful that I am able to experience this. Means I’m still alive yeah?

But again.

UGH I DON’T KNOW.

Maybe I’ll just sleep.

darating ang isang araw na akala mo ay iba sa maraming araw na alam mo na ang nangyari.

sa araw na iyon ay hindi ka makakaalis at patuloy kang magpapaikot ikot sa malalaking alon at bagyo sa gitna ng dagat habang kausap mo ang isa sa pinaka importanteng tao sa iyong buhay at sinasabi mo ang lahat ng iyong nasaksihan upang maiwasan ang mga kaganapan. muli siyang magpapaalam sa’yo kahit matagal na siyang wala. hihingi siya ng tawad dahil iyon lang ang kaya niyang gawin. iiyak ka ng iiyak. hindi mo gustong iwan ka nila, pero mangyayari pa rin ang dapat na mangyari.

Hola pips! How’s your weekend? Mine was indeed awesome! Hehe. I’m here to blog about my magical experience yesterday, together with old (but still remain) good buddies. Yesterday’s more like a birthday celebration of my dude — none other than Lei — and I’m glad I am able to celebrate it with her.

It’s not my first time in EK, but this is the first time I truly enjoyed the place (and the rides)! Sad that the Space Shuttle’s not available. Huhuhu. I haven’t tried it since!!! And I also wasn’t able to ride my favorite, Anchor’s Away. They didn’t want to go onto the ride and I also didn’t want if they won’t. Huhu.

It also rained hard in the afternoon so we didn’t go to Wheel of faith to enjoy the view. Sighhhhssss 10x. But despite of every “little” jinx that had happened before, during, and after, the day turned out all well :)

Here are some photos I took~ bear with the blurry ones

Let’s start with this photo. Since the sun was extremely striking hot that morning, only few people were around. It’s in the afternoon that the people started to grow in number.

I didn’t bring my camera with me so I only used my phone. Reason is, I went there to enjoy the place with my own eyes. Hekhek. But of course, I couldn’t help myself not to take my phone out of the bag and took some shots.

This one’s my new favorite ride! Disk-O-Magic is the name, if I remember it well. Or is it only because the sun, the wind, and everything was very beautiful that moment that when I was riding it, I feel like I was shooting a music video or watching a semi-romantic, pero mag-isa ka lang kaya medyo dramatic scene? Hahaha. If I could just record what my eyes have seen, then I could share what I am talking about. Hehe. Seems like the feeling was very comforting.

I think this is the only decent picture I had with dude, coz everything else are just snaps and wacky selfies. Thanks to K for taking this photo.

I was also able to experience their new ride! Tho it’s not that very different to the 4D experience of Realto. The difference is just before you enter the “theater”, there are some shows/intros or displays first to watch and see.

Oh, oh! Here is the “Mag-Anak”, an amazing wood sculpture of an Eagle Family made by an artist named James Doran Webb. It has subtitle that says: Unconditional and Enduring Love. There’s a video of how the artwork was built, playing in the lobby before you go up to the theatre area, and I swear, I remembered daddy when I saw this piece. Well, we have some eagle sculptures at home, maybe almost 5 or 6 pieces that my daddy made when he was still alive. Some of it are not done yet, and I am planning to self study wood sculpting to finish the unfinished.

The sculpture made me sad, and I think the title and the description matched very well to the artwork.The night came and the place started to be more colorful because of the lights. Since I only have my phone with me and a friend to be a subject of my “gaze” series without him knowing, I didn’t get some decent shots.

Anyway, that moment in this photo brought me old feelings and memories. And upon reminiscing and trying to absorb it all, it is now clear that there’s really a fine line, with indefinite thickness, between me and them or that specific person;that there’s a wall  standing in between ever since that we (I) don’t notice or pretend that we (I) don’t, but at the same time, knew that really exists. Heh, I don’t know if I make sense with what I am saying. But with everything I have heard and observed that day, this sad realization hit me.

They still remain important to me, anyway. :)

But hey, it’s me trying to look cute and fluffy, and them being… themselves. Mehehe.

Good thing that the heavy rain stopped before it’s time for the fireworks!!! Aaaahhh I hope it lasted longer, but of course, walang forever? Hahaha kidding. It really is a magical experience, but… I think it’s more magical if you’re with the people who truly makes you happy, and with the people who you truly make happy. :)

Hello worpy! How are you? It’s been a while again. I’ve been busy with some things and I’m glad that I still get  by despite of every shitty things in my surroundings. We really don’t have a choice but to live the life we have, and hope someday we would be able to make it much better. Hehe. But anyhow, I’m here to blog about my 24th birthday, let’s just forget the negativity for a while.

I can’t believe that my month is about to end in two weeks! I’m still expecting some get together with old friends this coming days. Hihi. And so, just like what I said in the intro, I’m here blog about my 24th birthday celebration! it’s not that grand and I only celebrated it with my favorite people, and that’s more than enough.

Well, my birthday was a pretty normal day to me except from I didn’t render an overtime and went home early, visited lola and daddy’s place in Holy, ate at a fast food resto all by myself while reading my favorite webtoon, and was greeted by  my family, which made my day a bit special. But my whole day, I spent it in my room, sleeping, trying to gather strength for another shift for work. Hehe. Adulting kinda sucks, but it’s also fun especially when you earn money to buy the stuff you want. :p

Oh! A friend visited the house and she brought a cake. I thought she wouldn’t be able to greet me since she’s busy and I was too (busy sleeping lol), but mother woke me up saying Gracia is there. I was touched, really. Hehe. Here’s the cake she brought for me — may faaaave, choco mousse of Goldilocks.

We talked for hours and forgot about time. We both need to go to work that day, so of course, she needed to go and I also needed to prepare. I’m truly happy that she made time for my day, despite of the busy schedule we both have.

The next days were normal, but the greetings didn’t end. My office mates still greet me ‘happy birthday’ and one of them also treated me food. Haha! They were all teasing me for ice cream tho. xD

Saturday came and my fam prepared a small gathering. Some friends and my sister’s friends came to celebrate with me. It was so fun ’cause we did videoke and sang all our hearts (and lungs hahaha) out.  We were so full from the food my mother cooked. I swear, she’s the best cook in the whole wide world for me~

My second birthday cake~ It was given by my eldest brother and his partner. But it says it’s from Lucky! The baby dog we’ve been taking care of since last year. Lucky was a street dog, it followed my elder brother home, so my brother decided to take and keep it. But things became a bit complicated upon Lucky’s arrival so we gave it to our eldest brother. Now, Lucky is staying at my eldest brother house. Lucky visits the house from time to time tho. :)

Annnd, here’s my fam. I know, I know, all of us are ~healthy~ hahaha!

Sunday came, and I must say that this is my most awaited day for me than my birthday (weird right? hahaha), because we were going to Art In Island! Actually, we already plan this day ahead of time. And we were all so excited!!! Sad that some of us couldn’t (didn’t he he he) come.

It’s our first time together to visit the museum, and we were like children running inside the whole place upon entering! As much as I wanted to post all of the pictures here, I could not because there are so many. I only selected some photos to share. :)This may seem so high school, but this photo style never gets old! :D Anyway, Art in Island is only in Cubao! The fee is a bit pricey but hey, it’s worth it! The murals are all breathtaking and awesome! They will leave you in awe. What’s more surprising is, the murals were created in just 120 days by the Artists! How could they be so talented?

This is the only photo that we have that we’re complete. It’s really hard to have our photo taken together because no one would take for us. Thank you to one of the staff who took this! Hihi.

Ehem, the girls of BFA. I know right? We’re all pretty~ Haha! And I’m sorry, I took much of the space on the right. Hehehe.

Ang taba ko nakakainis, but this is my favorite photo! I wish I could use these wings and fly in real life. Hays. Hehe. Kidding.

The place was big, and I swear we got tired (or I only got tired? Mehe). Since there were also many people, we didn’t get the chance to take a pic to some of the murals. We went home at 5pm because the weather started to get mad. Hehe.

Ey! A friend also cooked a carbonara (with a burnt pasta xD). It’s still delicious and edible tho. Hehehe. I’m still thankful for all the efforts. So much

The next day, I also met some old buddies (you already met them thru this post) to also celebrate my birthday. Truth is, I don’t have any idea how to spend the day with them, so Leidude suggested a place, which is the Paragon. It’s a KTV place which has rooms and you can eat while singing Karaoke! We all love to sing, obviously. Hehe.I don’t have enough pictures to post from our singing sessions because of my cp battery’s life. We stayed there for four hours and went home.

Dude and I had dinner at Kuya J’s, but I only ordered dessert. Hehehe. I was soooo full from the drinks and foods we had at Paragon’s. Hehehe. I think I got a bit drunk? This is a secret. :p

I still have some remaining days (because it’s still July) to celebrate with friends that I haven’t seen yet.

Still thankful for this life.

This may contain spoilers, but I promise I’ll do my best not to say anything that can ruin someone’s excitement to watch the movie aside from Goyo died. he he. Well, this is just a merely movie reaction so this is probably subjective.

Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral, is a movie about Gen Gregorio “Goyo” Del Pilar, who died at a young age during the Philippine-American War in Tirad Pass. It is considered as a sequel to another successful historical epic film by the same director, Jerrold Tarog, entitled Heneral Luna last 2015 as some scenes are connected. Anyway, if you haven’t watched the trailer of Goyo, you can watch it here:

Prior to this, there was a short film that served as a Prelude that was released in Cinema as a commercial / teaser entitled, Angelito, to introduce Goyo, which display its intertwining relationship from the first movie.

Anyway, going back to the purpose of this post, here are my reactions / things I noticed in the film:

1. The ambiance is much darker (and frustrating, even though you already know the ending) — or is it because the colors are less saturated and it created colder ambiance and emotions? Ah, but this movie weighs too much for me. Huhu.
2. Unlike the first film, this movie has a touch of romance, narrating Goyo’s relationship with different girls, most esp. with Felicidad and Remedios.
3. Goyo’s without his uniform was a normal — usual person who just want to enjoy his youth.
4. Some visual fx are disturbing, esp during the first attack of the Americans at night. The gun fires were too obvious, but well, it is still manageable to be ignored if you choose. Still kudos to the production!
5. I didn’t feel the other characters. BUT my favorite was Vicente. Oh I love how he portrays such a good example of a Captain and a true friend! I cried over the scene where he was informed of Goyo’s death. *le cries* T_T
6. Speaking of Goyo’s death, I just couldn’t accept that he died that way. I mean, he could have just died in a battle! But being shot while just standing and thinking — or maybe more like accepting their fate of losing, or reminiscing everything — is not okaaaaay for me. Oh my heart. MY HEART!!!
7. I really hate Aguinaldo in both films. Grrr.
8. I love that they used symbolism in the film — some are the mango scene, the dreams, Goyo’s drowning in the lake, the Gavel, etc.
9. I hate Aguinaldo.
10. I was hoping to know the real reason of Gen. Luna’s death. But oh well, I guess there will be more films in the future? Hoping.

I can’t say that it’s the best of Tarog’s films for now, but it was promising! I like Luna’s story more (AND I LOVE BLISS!!!), but of course, they lived different lives, so I still can’t judge lol.

Anyway, Goyo is still fafable.

Pareho kaming pawisan nang tuluyan kaming makapasok sa hall kung saan ang concert ng paborito naming banda. As usual, maraming tao kaya siksikan sa labas pa lang ng Arena.

“Shet, excited na ako.” masaya niyang sabi sa akin habang nakapako ang tingin sa stage. Ang ngiti niya, abot sa magkabilang tainga.

Napangiti na lang din ako bilang sagot. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang excitement niya noong mga oras na iyon. Ang tagal na rin niyang bukambibig ang tungkol sa concert at hindi niya ako tinantanan hangga’t hindi napapapayag. Syempre ako, go lang, palagi basta aya niya.

Lumalim ang gabi at lalong dumami ang tao. Hindi nagtagal, nagsimula nang lumamlam ang mga ilaw sa paligid at tumugtog na rin ang banda. Agad namang nagsihiyawan ang mga nasa paligid, kabilang kami, nang banggitin ang unang salita sa una nilang kanta. Ang sarap sa tenga, parang lagi kang hinaharana.

Pero ang pinakagusto ko, ay yung kantang Sa’yo.

Minsan Oo, minsan hindi~

Pangalawang kanta bago ang huli. Malapit na matapos ang concert.

Minsan tama, minsan mali~

Ah, kailan ko nga ba nagustuhan ang mga kanta ng banda na ito? At kailan ko ba ito naging paborito?

Umaabante, umaatras. Kilos mong namimintasss~

Anim na taon na ang nakalilipas?

Kung tunay nga ang Pagibig mo. Kaya ko bang isigaw~ Iparating sa Mundo~

Hindi ako masiyadong mahilig nakinig ng mga kantang malungkot, o masakit… o basta tumutusok sa damdamin, pero dahil sa kanya, nakahiligan ko ang mga gano’n.

Bakit?

Tumingin, sa’king mata. Magtapat ng nadarama~

Kasi… Anim na taon na rin akong may gusto sa kaniya. Kanino?

Kay Carl.

Kaibigan ko. Tropa.

Kaya ang hirap magtago ng feelings. Pero hindi ko akalain, maitatago ko ng anim na taon.

Saklap ‘no? Anim na taon kong pinapangarap na mahawakan ang kamay niya habang naglalakad; mayakap siya sa malamig, o kahit mainit na gabi; at mahalikan ang mga labi niyang paniguradong malambot. Sobrang saklap. Pero nakaya ko.

’Di gustong ika’y mawala~ Dahil handa akong ibigin ka~

At ayoko na. Nung nga oras na iyon, sabi ko ayoko na. Gusto ko nang itigil ang kahibangan na ito.

Kung maging tayo, sa’yo lang ang puso ko.~

“Cherry,”

Tumingin ako kay Carl na nakatingin na sa’kin. “Ano ‘yon?” sagot ko. Ngumiti siya bigla.

Walang ibang tatanggapin, ikaw at ikaw pa rin~

“Ask me a question.” sabi niya.

“Huh?”

May gulo ba sayong isipan, ‘di tugma sa nararamdaman~

“Ask me anything.” sagot niya.

Napakunot ang noo ko. Anong itatanong ko sa kanya?

Kung tunay nga ang pag ibig mo~

“Masaya ka ba?” ang unang tanong na naisip ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit.

“Yep. Sobra.”

Tumingin, sa’king mata. Magtapat ng nadarama~

“Then?”

“Next question.”

Natawa ako. Ano bang naiisip niya? “Uhm, nag-eenjoy ka ba?”

’Di gustong ika’y mawala~ Dahil handa akong ibigin ka~

“Definitely, yes. Ask me one more.”

Napasalubong ang kilay ko at saka tumawa. “Baliw, kung anu-ano na naman trip mo, matatapos na itong concert magfocus ka nga sa stage.”

Kung maging tayo, sa’yo lang ang puso ko.~

“Basta. Ask me one more. Dali na.”

“Hmmm,” pag-isip isip ko. Gusto ko sana siyang tanungin nung mga oras na iyon ng: Mahal mo rin ba ako? pero siyempre, hindi ko pa rin kaya.

Kailangan ba kitang iwasan~ sa t’wing lalapit may paalam.

“Ano na?”

ibang anyo sa karamihan~

“Wala na akong maisip.” sabi ko. “Bakit ba kasi?”

Iba rin pag tayo, iba rin pag tayo lang~

Nang sabihin ko iyon, bigla siyang napangiti.

“Then it’s my turn? Wala ka nang maisip e.”

“Osige.”

Tumingin, sa’king mata. Magtapat ng nadarama~

“Promise you’ll answer yes?”

Di gustong ika’y mawala~ Dahil handa akong ibigin ka~

“Aba depende, kung uutang ka wala na akong pera.” pagtawa ko.

Kung maging tayo~

Mas lalong lumaki ang ngiti niya. “Please say yes.”

Kung maging tayo~

“Will you be my girlfriend?”

Sa’yo na ang puso ko.~

ix.iv.xviii

umiiyak na naman ang langit.
kasabay ng pagtamlay ng buong paligid
ang paglaho ng kulay sa mga bulaklak,
sa kalangitan,
sa kabundukan,
at sa mga matang dati-rati’y puno ng sigla
sa tuwing masisilayan ang isang ngiti,
maririnig ang isang tinig,
at mapapalagay sa isang natatanging piling.

napaisip, gaano na nga ba katagal?
noong huling nasilayan ang liwanag,
huling naramdaman ang init sa mga balat –
ng nagliliyab na araw,
o dagitab ng isang nilalang,
at ang sinabing hindi magmamaliw na nararamdaman.

muli kong pinag-aralan kung paano —
paanong tahimik lang na nahuhulog ang mga luha ng langit sa malamig na aspaltong pinagpapahingahan.
ang maliliit nitong mga patak ay dinama.
pawang nagmistulang mga talulot ng bulaklak sa gaan.
ngunit nakasusugat sa pagtagal.

nagbabakasakaling dito matututunan –
kung paano at kailan muling mahuhulog
magtitiwala
at aasa sa isang kasiyahan na matagal nang kinalimutan
— ng walang pangamba at pagaalinlangan.
gaya ng ulan.

umiiyak na naman ang langit.
ang mga dahon ay nagsisiawit ng pasasalamat,
habang sila’y nananabik sa muling pagsikat ng araw.
katumbas ng pagkasabik kong makaramdam muli —
ng sakit na may halong ligaya,
o kaya ang lumuha ng may dahilan.

Kagabi lang ay nakita ko ang larawan niya sa facebook, ngayon ay narito na siya kasama ko.

Gusto ko siyang tanungin kung ano ang ginagawa niya rito, pero natatakot ako na baka ‘pag tinanong ko siya ay bigla siyang umalis.

“Hey.” ang nasabi ko na lang sa kanya matapos ko siyang lapitan.

Ngumiti siya sa akin at sumagot ng “Hi.” pabalik.

Tanginang ngiti ‘yan. Hays.

“Long time no see,” sabi ko. “Kumusta ka na?”

Medyo matagal siyang nakasagot sa tanong ko na iyon. Sapat na oras para pag-aralan muli ang kanyang mukha na halos ilang taon ko na rin na hindi nakikita sa personal.

Nagkalaman na siya uli. Katamtaman lang ang katawan niya kumpara sa huli naming pagkikita na parang kinulang sa kain. Hindi mo aakalain na ito na siya. Ganito na siya. Parang kailan lang…

Parang dati lang, nung mga highschool kami, mukha lang siyang mapayat na nerd na magaling sa math. Hindi ko siya pinapansin, dahil busy ako sa pagpansin sa iba. Nakakausap ko naman siya pero hindi mo masasabing malapit kami sa isa’t-isa.

Siguro, nung nagcollege lang kami tuluyang naging magkaibigan. Naging magkaklase kami nang mag second semester, first year. Nagtuloy-tuloy na hanggang makagraduate ng 2yrs.

Doon ko siya nakilala. Masaya siyang kasama. Marami siyang alam na cool na bagay. Minsan lang siya umimik, pero kapag nagsalita palaging may laman.

Doon ko rin nalaman ng bahagya ang personal na buhay niya. Pareho kaming hiwalay ang magulang. Iniwan kami ng papa ko, habang sila naman ay ng kanilang ina.

Magaling siya sa halos lahat ng subject. Magaling siya sa logic. Mabuti siyang kaibigan.

Doon ko siya hinangaan.

At doon ko siya nagustuhan.

Halos limang taon kaming hindi nagkita pagkatapos, o sabihin na nating hindi ako nagpakita dahil gusto kong kalimutan ang nararamdaman ko sa kanya.

Alam ko naman kasi na hindi iyon masusuklian.

Nito na lang ako sumasama sa mga pag-aya ng mga dating kaibigan. Madalas pa ay wala rin siya.

Biruin mo, ang haba na ng panahon ng nagdaan. Marami nang nagbago sa kanya at sa akin. Marami na kaming kwento na hindi alam ng isa’t isa.

Subalit gano’n pa rin. Yung mga mata niya, gano’n pa rin.

Malalim. Maganda. Biglang nawawala kapag ngumingiti.

Pucha.

Napansin niya ang pagtitig ko, kaya iniwas ko ang aking tingin. Nakakahiya.

“Ayos lang, ikaw kumusta?”

“Okay lang, tara kain ka.” pagyaya ko sa kanya.

Nalimutan kong bigla kung ano ang okasyon. Birthday ko ba? Birthday ng pamangkin ko? Ni mama? Sino ang may birthday?

Pero kung birthday ko, bakit siya lang ang dumating?

Kumain na siya. Nakipagkuwentuhan rin sa ibang bisita, habang nagninilay-nilay ako ng pangyayari. Hindi ako aware na close siya sa iba kong kamag-anak.

Ah, naalala ko noong nagpunta siya sa burol ng tinuturing kong ama. Kahit mag-isa ay nagpunta siya para makiramay.

Naalala ko tuloy nang pumanaw rin ang mahal niyang lola… ni hindi man lang ako napadaan. Nagchat lang ako ng condolence, at sinabing hindi na ako makakadaan. Nakonsensiya ako sa nangyari, parang napakawalang kwenta kong kaibigan.

Pero alam ko namang naiintindihan niya ikung bakit.

‘Di nagtagal, kailangan ko nang umalis. May lumapit na isa kong tita at sinabing uuwi na raw kami. Lalo akong nalito. Kaninong bahay ba ‘to?

Tumingin ako agad sa kanya. Tumingin rin siya sa akin at ngumiti.

Alam na niya sa mga tingin ko na nagpapaalam ako.

Hindi na naman ba kami magkikita? Kung magkikita man, gaano pa katagal? Iyan ang mga tanong na nasa isip ko… and as usual, walang sagot.

Maya-maya ay lumabas na ang mga kasama ko. Gabi na, kaya naman nakakatakot sa dadaanan. Nauna na sila, samantalang ako ay naroon pa sa kusina. Ayoko pa kasing umalis.

Nagmadali lang ako dahil bigla akong natakot maglakad magisa doon sa dadaanan. Sobrang dilim nang matanaw ko.

“Teka lang, hintayin niyo ako.” sabay takbo papalabas, tangay-tangay ang isang bote ng tubig.

Sa pagtakbo ko ay nalaglag ang takip. Kukunin ko na dapat nang bigla siyang sumulpot sa tabi ko at siya ang kumuha sa lapag.

“Tara na.” sabi niya, saka naglakad.

Paglabas namin ay umuulan. Napatingin ako agad sa kanya.

“May payong ka?”

Umiling siya bilang sagot.

Naalala ko bigla ang dati, umuulan din noon at wala siyang payong. Meron ako, pero ayaw niya yatang sumukob.

Inisip ko kung ayaw pa rin ba niyang sumukob ngayon. Pero bakit kaya ayaw niya noon? Hindi ko kailanman nalaman ang sagot.

Binuksan ko ang payong at inalok siya. Ngumiti naman siya at naglakad na kami.

Kinakabahan ako, pero bakit ako kinakabahan? Matagal nang nabura ang feelings ko sa kaniya. Hindi na dapat ako kabahan.

Pero nagpatuloy akong gano’n. Dinaan ko na lang sa kwento para hindi ko maalala.

Napansin ko na nababasa siya, kaya inusog ko ang payong sa parte niya.

“Lumapit ka ng kaunti.” sabi ko.

“Hindi na, okay lang.”

“Hindi okay, nababasa ka oh.”

Hindi na siya nakipagtalo. Lumapit na lang siya ng kaunti sa akin. Ako ang may hawak ng payong kaya hindi ko tantiya kung gaano siya nababasa.

Napansin niya siguro na tumitingin ako sa kaliwang braso niya, kung saan tumatama ang ulan, kaya kinuha na niya ang payong sa’kin.

“Okay lang ako, pero akin na nga.”

Nagtama ang mga kamay namin nang kunin niya ito.

Dumoble yung kaba ko.

Nasa balikat na niya ang pisngi ko. Tumangkad ba siya? Ang alam ko mas matangkad ako sa kaniya dati.

Alam kong ayaw niyang may didikit sa kanya kaya lumayo ako bigla. Masiyado yatang obvious kaya bigla niya akong hinila pabalik.

“Mababasa ka.”

“Hindi ah, i-ano… i-ganito mo ng kaunti, hindi naman ako nababasa.” naiilang kong tawa saka inayos ang pagkakahawi ng payong.

Muli, nagtama ang kamay namin.

Tinanggal ko ang kamay ko sa payong ng mabilis.

Tangina, kanina pa ako naiilang. Pagsigaw ko sa isip ko kasabay ng paglakas ng ulan.

Nababasa na ako, pero ayokong magpahalata. Ayoko rin kasing lumapit sa kaniya.

Bigla na lang akong nagulat nang umakbay siya sa akin, pero syempre, hindi ko rin pinahalata na nagulat ako. Alam ko namang ginawa niya iyon para magkasya kami lalo sa payong.

Hindi na lang ako umimik. Napangiti na lang ako at napa-oo nang bigla niyang tinanong…

“Ganito rin ‘yon ‘di ba? ‘Yong dati, ganito rin noon, ‘di ba?”

At iyon ang huli kong narinig nang tuluyan akong magising mula sa panaginip na imposibleng mangyari.

I know, this might be a shameless plugging, but it would be wonderful if you could follow my Art account on Instagram! Hihihi. Well, you see, I have unlinked my main / personal account from here and only decided to create an art account on instagram, which will be (i hope lol) updated often with my artshits and stuff. Hehe

As of now, only old artworks were uploaded, but from time to time,  I will  post my other works up to the latest.

If you’re interested with the craps that were and will be posted, just click this link.

Anyhow, since I am here already, I’m going to share something about me. I didn’t go to work tonight. I was not feeling well yesterday and I had to take undertime and go home because I was getting nauseous every time I look at my monitor. I guess I needed to replace my specs. Ugh, expenses again.

I was advised to stay home, but I already decided that in the first place. Hehe. Well, tomorrow, I will be speaking in a junior high school about layouting and I hope I don’t stutter. I have done that couple of times, but I still jitters every time I am in front and discussing my lecture. Huhu. Guess who really hates talking in a crowd? :(

So I guess that was it. There’s nothing more to share about, and I promise to post here once something good happen. I am hoping, hehe.

Ciao for now.

My mind is fighting over what language I should use as I write this book review of Ms. Lualhati Bautista. But because, I started this post in English, I guess I have to be responsible in finishing this in English. Just correct my grammar if I’m wrong, that would be much appreciated. Hehe.

First thing’s first, I would just like to say some introduction about the book:
Dekada ’70 was set during Marcos’ Regime, and it was one of the political novel that depicts strong point of view about the Martial Law. This book made me appreciate the life more — this current life and state that we’re in, much to say. We’re still lucky to not experience suppression like before. We can consider ourselves more free though we’re not completely, compared to the past. Poverty is still rapidly increasing, and more people are still dying. However, we must be (somehow) thankful that we can now get to voice out our opinions anytime, anywhere.

Though aside from that, the book is also a feminist. Well, feminism dominates the political point of this book. It tackles and narrate how women struggled to live as a woman (not just a wife) before, esp. during the time when women being equal to men was still a concept. The book, indeed, is such a powerful tool and an eye-opener to all the women, especially housewives — mothers, to know their rights and discover their own capabilities as a woman.

Anyway, just to share you something, I got the book together with her other books in Manila International Book Fair this year and they were all signed by Ms. Lualhati herself!!! My heart was so happy even though I got broke after he he.

Getting to the post, I guess I have to start the book review.

Setting
I am not familiar to the time that this book was written. I didn’t personally experience Martial Law, but I know some stories from the books and stories of the people from that time. I could say that Ms. Lualhati is such a nice story teller because she made me feel, and made me experience the struggles of the people in that time just by reading the book. From the moment you read the first ten chapters, you will be automatically be dragged to the past.

Characters
There are more than just one character in this story. It was not just about Amanda, the mother of five boys (Julian Jr “Jules”, Isagani, Eman, Jason and Bingo). It was about Filipino families who lived in the most horrifying times of their lives.

My favorite is Jules, the eldest son of Amanda and Julian Bartolome. He reminded me of my eldest brother, for the reason that they were the same. keyword: were. It was long, long ago so I think it’s now safe to share about it. My brother is already living a life far from Jules now, anyway. But I salute him for choosing to stand and make a move for the sake of the Filipino people.

I also like Em. Ah well, he is the most ideal character for me. I want to become like him. Because he chose to fight in a way that is less harmful than what his brother did. I can say that they are the same, but still different. He is also the calmest character in the book. From the time he entered college and pursue the thing he love, despite of his father’s opposition to him becoming a writer, he just stay calmed and pursued the course. And also the part when… he told his father what happened to Jason. It was a heartbreaking scene for me. If I were him, I’m probably running home already crying, making everyone panic.

The characters, despite of being written by just one person, made their own characteristics and personality in the book. For example, the five Bartolome brothers, they are children of Amanda and Julian, but that’s the only thing they share in common. They are all different, because they have their own lives, and choices. They create their own path in life.

Favorite quote
“Hindi iisang paraan lang nakikitungo ang tao sa kapwa niya, dahil siguro iba-iba ang pangangailangan natin sa iba’t-ibang tao, iba-iba ang inaasahan niya sa iba’t-ibang tao, tulad din ng iba-iba ang inaasahan ng iba’t-ibang tao sa kanya.”
(The reason why people don’t treat other people in only one way, because maybe we have various necessities from different people, we have various expectations from different people, just like different people expect various things from us.)

I may have to disagree to this just a little, because if you’re going to absorb the quote and it will made you say “yeah, it’s right”, then that will count you as an opportunist. But well, this is the cruel truth that is happening now in the society. Again, correct me, if I’m wrong.

Reaction
Well, didn’t I just write my reaction in the first part of this post? Hahaha. Uhm. I have nothing left to put in this part aside from I loved the book. It knows how to hit me in the soft spot and also make me question the truth written in the book. I suggest you should read this too if you haven’t. It is such a great story written by a legend.

I am currently reading “Bata, Bata… Paano ka Ginawa?” and I can say that it’s also a feminist book, so yeah. I’ll also try to come up with a book review after I read that. For now, I will end this post.

Ciao.

It was a looong day yesterday, and I was so drained yet happy to spend my weekend with fun and awesome people — my temporary team in the office, and some good old friends since high school.

We had a team building in the morning, so at 9am, I prepared going to The Grounds Resort in Antipolo, Rizal even though the call time is 8. Haha! I only had an instant noodles for bfeakfast because I know there will be food in the resort. Hehe. The travel was only 45mins or so from home, so glad the traffic was not that bad yet. Halloween / All Souls Day is pretty fast approaching and some people are going home to their provinces, so heavy traffic and volume of passengers are expected.

When I arrived at the location, my first reaction was the place was sooo comfy and cozzzzy! I really love it.

The resort is located inside Ticzon Herbal Garden. You won’t notice it at first, but if you walk further you’ll see the resort. One good thing about the place is the neighboorhood is very quiet and calming, you wanted to stay there forever.

The very first thing you’ll notice upon entering is a pathway and a fountain. There are also some several objects around and I swear they are so damn cute!

I love the birdcages over there, I only wish there are really birds inside. I think it will add more effect in the place since it’ s already naturey~ Hehe.

This is one of my faaaave~ The Cabin is very cute! I thought it’s only for display but I learned that it’s going to be our room and we can use it for the day!

You’ll love it inside! A cute wood table of four will greet you when you open the door together with a sink and a refrigirator, and in its right are the bedssss, a sofa, and a tv. Yep. There are plenty of beds, and I think it’s for approx 20pax! It’s perfect for overnights and staycation with friendssss!

The place is very vintage feels too! I so love the bicycle over there, I wish I could take it home hahaha!

Let’s talk about the pool. I love the fact that even though it’s sunny that time, the water was still cold and refreshing! Anyway, credits to Czae for this pic, I just grabbed it from her fb accnt hehe. It’s me in the pool by the way. I’m such a loner, I know.

Aside from the place is good, the team is also fun to be with and I think that’s what made it more enjoyable. We sang Karaoke, cooked food, and shared laughter together! I forgot for a while that they are my officemates, it seemed like they were all really my friends. Credits to Ate Jam for the pics above.

We parted ways at 5pm and I met with my highschool friends afterwards!

It has been two years or so since I had a decent get together with the three of them, I was absent when they get to spend staycation last time somewhere in Cubao together with other friends, ’cause things were not really going pretty then for me, so I’m glad that I finally had time to catch up yesterday.

The funny thing is, even though a year or two has passed, it feels like it’s only months ago since we last met. You can really be comfortable with people you knew and knew you even after a long time.

We had dinner at Chubby Cheeks (???? I really forgot the name haha) Kamayan Restaurant in Angono, and stayed somewhere drinking milktea and frappe while talking about everything until 12am. Hehe. How I wish we could stay longer.

I realized that we are not getting any younger and I also noticed our improvement in terms of ~physical~ and ~emotional~ matter. We are really in the adulthood stage omg. :'(

So todaaaaay I’m also excited because I’m going to meet with some college friends. Hihi

Hello pips! How have you been? How was your looong weekend? Where did you spend All Saints and All Souls day? I hope you enjoyed and also got to relax during those times. As for me, it was good! I just stayed at home with my family, prayed for the souls of our dearly departed, and went to a Cafe in Pasig last Saturday. And now I am going to blog about the place.

It was my first time knowing that the cafe existed and learn that it’s quite famous. My cousin, who happened to stay a night in the house said she really wanna go there, and so we did. They say that it’s the first ever Panda-themed cafe in the Metro and millenials usually go to that place, even people from far away places (nearby provinces and cities) just to visit and try their food, and… of course, take a pic with all the panda stuff and costumes!

The cafe is located along Amang Rodriguez Avenue in Pasig. It was not far from the main road and can easily locate! We only used google maps and asked people of its whereabouts, and luckily, we found it!

The place was so jampacked that day and we had to wait for an hour inside its adjacent shop — Salon de Esa. I think they are sister stores / owned by the same person, so yeah.

The interior is very neat, with monochromatic colors of black and white and vintage-y tables. We were lucky that our table was near the panda stuff toys so we could take pictures right away!

I don’t have much pictures of other side of the cafe because there were too many people, and couldn’t capture the perfect angles so pardon me.

Well, aside from the cute interior, their foods are also a bomb! I can say that it was a bit pricey, but it will surely satisfy your tastebuds!

I loved their Quesadillas and Nachos!!! Well,you see, the first food that I always order upon visiting and trying out a new food store is their Nachos (if available)! and I could say that theirs is one of the best I have tasted so far. I so loved that it has veggies hihi. Also, the cheese of the Quesadillas is quite unique, and very creamy. I am not a cheese person, but I loved its taste! Not too salty. Yummm.

We also ordered a small panda cupcake which costs 50php, but don’t look at the price, I tell you it’s worth the money! I think there are other variations of panda cakes there that we haven’t ordered yet because $$$, but sure, we want to try it sometimes. So lucky that we also have another panda cupcake for free because it’s my sister’s birthmonth, and she availed the promo.

My second favorite is their Carbonara! It is very creamy, and at the same time hindi nakakasawa!!! I’m craving now!

Their spaghetti tastes differently but I also loved its aftertaste, much like mint or something. We only ordered these out of many menus but I (we) will surely go back to try the others! :)

And now it’s time for our pictures. Teneeen~

It’s me in my natural habitat. I have finally found my relatives. mehehe. Just kidding. I just love the huge panda over there, but I kinda pity the panda, looks sort of sad and… tired. Hehe. Hey, I’m not talking about myself lol. I’m serious.

It’s me, my cousin, and my sister. Aren’t we cute? Hihi. It’s been a long time since we last hangout like this, and I hope there will be next time (and more next time) soon.

If you wish to go to Cafe De Esa, just visit their facebook page to get more infos on how to get there! ;)

This is somewhat a book reaction of Bata, Bata… Pa’no ka Ginawa? Pero let me post this in Tagalog, pasensya na. Wala ako sa mood mag ingles para sa kabuuan ng post na ito.

Sa wakas ay natapos ko na ang libro. Ang susunod sa listahan ay ‘GAPÔ at Desaparesidos. At katulad ng naunang libro na nabasa ko ay masasabi kong tungkol ito sa isang makabagong babae: isang kaibigan, makabayan, at isang ina na si Lea Bustamante.

Sa totoo lang, napapakunot ako sa iilang eksena ng libro na ito. Hindi kasi ako sanay na makatuklas ng gano’ng klaseng babae. Hindi naman sa puros negatibo, pero may kaunti akong hindi nagustuhan sa karakter ni Lea. Isa pa, masyado lang akong konserbatibo siguro.

Yep, naiintindihan ko na tao pa rin ang tao kahit kasal na siya, may karelasyon na, o committed na sa isang tungkulin. Hindi mo naman kasi matuturuan ang puso… Malaya kang mahalin kung sino ang gustong mong mahalin, at gawin ang mga bagay na gusto mong gawin, lalo na kung makakapag-unlad ito ng iyong sarili. Pero, may mga parteng hindi ako sumang-ayon, at nagpaduda pa sa akin lalo sa ibig sabihin ng “pagmamahal.” Oo, inaamin kong doon napokus ang aking atensyon sa buong pagbabasa. Alam kong may mas malalim pang ibig sabihin ang libro, tulad na lang ng pagtuklas sa sarili, pagsunod sa nais gawin, at syempre, pakikiaglaban sa politikal na aspeto ng buhay. Pero dito, sa pag-ibig o pagmamahal… sa paksang lahat ay makaka-relate, mas napokus ang atensyon ko.

Posible nga kayang magmahal ng dalawang tao, o higit pa? Pero kung mahal mo siya, at mahal mo rin ang isa… sino ang mas mahal mo sa dalawa? Bakit, at paano nagkaiba ang pagmamahal na iyon sa isa’t-isa, at sa iba? Totoong tanong iyon dahil hindi ko pa nararanasan. Isa ring mahirap sagutin, o kung masagot man ay mahihirapan pa rin akong intindihin.

Siguro, ang isa sa mga nagustuhan ko sa kwento ay ang karakter na ni Lea na kung ano desisyon niya ay paninindigan niya iyon. Naramdaman ko rin siya sa ilang katangian na nakikita ko rin sa aking mga kaibigan at maging sa aking ina. Si Lea, sa kabila ng magiging matatag ay mahina rin. Lalo na sa kaniyang nararamdamang lungkot at pag-iisa. Oo, may mga anak siya, pero naramdamang kong she’s still longing for something real. Something deeper. Hindi lang basta connection sa isang tao, hindi lang sparks. Sino ba namang hindi naglo-long sa gano’n ‘di ba? At kapag naramdaman mo ‘yon, mapapasabi ka na lang ng… “Minsan, may mga gabing sana’y wala nang umaga.” gaya ng title ng post na ito. Malaking tama sa akin ng parte na ito sa libro at naramdaman ko kung gaano kalungkot si Lea:

“Mahal kita pero mamaya’y wala ka na’t malulungkot ako. Hahanap-hanapin kita, iiyak ako, magdurusa ako… pero kasama ‘yon sa mga katotohanang kailangang yakapin ko. Doon ka, dito ako… kanya ka, wala ako. Pag itinanong niya ‘ko sayo, sabihin mo: magkaibigan na lang tayo.”

Malungkot hindi ba? Maligaya ka, pero hindi magtatagal ang kaligayahan na iyon. Malungkot ka, at babaunin mo ‘yon habang wala ang kaligayahan sa’yo. Madalas ay mas matagal ang kalungkutang mararamdaman mo, dahil matagal dumating ang ligaya, subalit mabilis mawala.

Naramdaman ko rin si Ojie. Gaya ko rin siyang lumaking hindi kapiling ang tunay na ama. Naramdaman ko kung gaano kahirap kapag tinatanong kang “Nasa’n ang tatay mo?”, pero mas maswerte lang ako’t mahal din ako ng tinuring kong ama na tiyuhin ko, asawa ng tiyahin ko’t kapatid ni Mama, dahil sa kanila ako lumaki. Heh. Share lang.

Ang libro perpekto para sa mga single mom, gaya ni Lea. Sa mga ina na mag-isang bumubuhay sa kanilang mga anak, na ayaw lang makulong bilang isang ina.

At para sa pagtatapos ng post na ito, narito ang dalawa sa mga linyang halos bumuod sa libro:

Bata-bata… pa’no ka ginawa? Dahil may dalawang tao riyan na naghandog ng sarili nila sa isa’t-isa, dalawang tao na nag-akalang magkabuhol na ang buhay nila. At kahit nang matuklasan nila na mabubuhay rin pala sila nang wala ang isa, wala nang magagawa… ang bata ay eto na.

Bata, bata… pa’no ka ginawa? Hindi bigla kundi unti-unti, tulad sa lahat ng normal na proseso ng paglaki. Unti-unti’y nakikita mong may iba’t-ibang mukha ang mga tao, isa-isang natutunugan mo ang iba’t-ibang kahulugan ng mga ingay at tinig. Sa paglaki, napapansin mong may mga tanong na mahirap sagutin, at may mga utos na mahirap sundin. Higit sa lahat, natutuklasan mo na habang naririnig mo ang mga sagot, lalong dumarami ang naiisip mong mga tanong….

Hola pips! I rarely post something on a weekday, but this post was meant to post last Sunday, but because I wasn’t feeling well during that time, I am here to blog about the newly opened café shop in Angono!

Actually, I was supposed to meet a friend that day, but it got cancelled with the same reason why I am writing about this now. She was the one who didn’t feel well, btw. lol. Hihi. And so, I asked my niece if she could accompany me somewhere because I really want to go outside the house, and we ended up going to Burr Espresso, just in front of Angono Medical Hospital.

Good thing that the café is still open. And oh, I think they’re operating for the whole day. I saw the store still lit last Friday at 3am when we attended the Ginuman2018, so I guess the shop is open 24hrs. Well, this is just a guess. lol.

You will be greeted by someone upon entering. He’s also the one who opened the door for us, and I find it very polite. There is also a bench on the left side of the door, and a santa claus with gifts! Aaahh, Christmas is here.

The place is not that big, aaaaand I didn’t also take a pic of the other corners because there were many people that night. I am shy. Hihi. But the interior is cool. You can find different kind of tables here, high, and low, small and big.

Just like other cafés, you will order at he counter and pay before they serve you your food. I must say, the price of some menus are higher than the regular prices you can avail in local cafés, but I think it is also worth a penny. We only ordered two frappes (Choco Java, and Salted Caramel), a slice of choco mousse cake, a chocolate waffle (that I really liked!!!), and the Tuna-Pesto pasta (that I think my mother can cook, even more delicious hihi).

They also have rice meals if you’re wondering. Most of the menu starts at 120php and above. :)

I didn’t notice if there was music in the café, the people were so noisy looool. Anyway, I will surely go back and try the other sweets!!! I liked their waffle much and I think the other cakes taste good too!

Hi everybody! It’s actually midnight as I write this post because I couldn’t sleep yet, blame my insomnia ugh, aaaaand this will be about a pizza (and pasta) restaurant that we tried last Sunday. The store is called Pizza Streat, and it is just located in Taytay, Rizal.

I discovered the resto in a facebook post and it somehow gone viral because of their promo of Unlimited Pizza and Pasta for only 198php. Being a fan of discovering new foodstore and eating, ofcourse, I suggested to my family to eat there. Excuse our faces, but here is a pic of us below. Hehe.

The place is not that big, but it is comfy enough for people who doesn’t mind the surroundings and just want to… eat.

The menus are very affordable, and the food is worth their prices!!! You can find and scan the prices in the photo above. I hope it is clear enough. Hihi.

By the way, I loved the Garlic Chicken Pasta and their Bacon&Fries Pizza!!! Highly recommended.

Thisis the Garlic Chicken Pasta. It may look simple, but it tastes good.

The uhm… couldn’t remember very well but it is Bascaniola something hahaha!

Marinara Meatballs Pasta

This one is a e seafood pasta, Mama said it just tastes like sardines though hehehe.

As much as we wanted to have a taste of other Pastas, we couldn’t because there is a leftover fee. I don’t remember how much for the pasta, but for the pizza it’s 20php. and speaking of pizzas… we just ordered three varieties: Chicken BBQ, Bacon&Fries and the 4-Pizza Flavor (Hawaian, Pepperoni, All meat, and Cheesy).I don’t have a pic of the last pizza though. But swear, the Cheesy pizza is delicious too!

As for the beverages, they also have frappes and juices. We only ordered rootbeer and fresh lemon juice so I don’t know if their frappes are good. But we’re planning to come back here and try their other menus so maybe I’ll blog about it again if ever. And by that time, I’ll be readying my tummy! Mehehehe.

Their staff are very accomodating also, you’ll only need to wait for about 15mins in total for your food to serve. This place is perfect for people who loves Pizza and Pasta in a very affordable price! Barkada’s will love the place and will definitely enjoy yhe food :)

If you’re wondering where in Taytay, Rizal, it is near Jollibee New Taytay Market. You will only walk a bit near a gasoline station and then cross the strEAT. ;)

Hello WordPress pips. How are you? I hope you’re all fine, and if you’ll ask me, I am. I just had a truly nice start of February, and I am going to blog about it in this post. :)

We went to a Sagada (with Banaue & Baguio side-) trip for 3days and 2nights together with my sister, her officemates, her officemates’ friends, and my dear friend, L.G. And men, it was so awesome! I never thought that I’ll be visiting the province this early month of the year. Actually, my friend and I originally planned to go to Kalinga, but because of some unpleasant turn of events, and as if in a perfect timing that my sister was also looking for a couple of people to complete their group of pax for a trip to Sagada, I asked my friend if we can fill up the empty spots. Glad that she said okay.

Our departure from Manila was Thursday night, so I had to file a leave as early as that day to prepare things and pack stuff. After that, I met with my friend in Eastwood, then we went straight to Cubao to meet my sister. From there, we traveled to SM North and met with others.

We were 8 in our group, plus 6 others (so that would be 14 in total) that were already in the van since we’re joiners (and we all hate that 6 loool but I don’t want to share anything about those pips, I am here to just reminisce the good thingsss hahahaha). So moving on. Our travel time to Banaue was approximately 8 long hours, with some stop over, of course.

The view was breathtakingly beautiful. Credits to Jhona for the landscape photos below:

from l-r: Mich, Me, L.G, Kenia, Onang, Jhona.
I admit the the travel was a bit shaky for me since we were seated at the back of the van, (hindi kami nakatulog, nagdadasal ako buong biyahe lol). Kuya Janjan (our driver) was extremely a rough driver, but skilled enough.

We had breakfast in a small carinderia in Banaue, and first day pa lang, broke na kami. lol. Food there is expensive.

After an hour of travel again, we arrived at exactly 10am in our Hotel in Sagada.

We were originally booked in Sagada Hub, but since the hotel was fully accommodated, and they already own the Indigenous Inn, we were moved there instead. We got keys for room 12 & 13. Our room is okay, but there were times that I think some elements / spirits were present in the room with us. Mehe.

We had 2 hours of free time before our first activity started, and those 2 hours were spent deciding on what activity to do first. After a while, we decided to go to Lumiang and Sumaging connecting cave for our first day. We started at exactly 1pm.

from l-r: Onang, Jeyp, Mich, Jhona, Tristan, Kenia, Me, and L.G.
Well, for a first timer in spelunking, this was kinda intense. I literally freaked out (not much, but I freaked out) when I saw the holes that we need to go through, the steep and slippery rocks, and how dark the cave is. BUT!!! of course, I needed to get here out alive so I composed myself and pretended that I am strong. Mehe. Magaling naman ako sa gano’n, magpanggap na strong but deep inside susuko na. Charot.

This life-risking idea was worth the try. The cave is so beautiful and the water is hellacious cold. What i meant for cold was the kind of cold that makes your body numb. There were times that I couldn’t move my foot because of it. Anyways, I’ll give you some pictures of the “life-risking” moment in the cave. You should really be physically fit for this activity though, glad that I still fit in the holes. Thought I would never make it. Sad reacts, but heart reacts too.
Credits again to Jhona’s cam (but it was Kuya Jordan who took the cave photos) below.

Speaking of Kuya Jordan, he was our cave guide, together with Kuya “I’m Yours” (that’s the name he told us mehehe). Usually, they will teach us first how to climb and dance between rocks. They are kind too, and funny. I love their sense of humor. (So if you’re planning to visit Lumiang and Sumaging Cave too, I recommend Kuya Jordan and Kuya I’m Yours!!!

Anyways, I think the disadvantage side about entering the cave is they don’t provide helmets for tourists. The activity itself is really dangerous. Safety first is a must.

Well back to kuya Jordan, I had a little crush on him (hahaha we all had a secret crush on him) beccc men, he’s attractive and gentleman and he always waits for me huhu I’m such a weakling I know. See below for reference looool.

I took a selfie with him, but won’t upload it here due to haggardness loool again.

We got out of the cave I think past 5pm. Had dinner, clean thyselves, and sleep. We woke up at 3am and left the Hotel at 4am for our Second Day activity with our first destination that was guided again by Kuya Jordan: Marlboro Hills.

It was freaking cold. I can see our breaths while talking / breathing just like in movies that was set in a cold country! The plants are also frozen in crystals, and aaaah, it’s my first time to see it, I was truly amazed.

We waited for sunrise in Marlboro Hills and that moment was one of the most serene moments of my life. I thought of nothing, I just stared at the sun even it hurts my eyes, the still trees that sometimes dance, the misty mountains that invites me to visit them more. I wish I could stay there. Forever.

Our next destination was the Blue Soil.

We were actually tired after walking for almost 5 hours, but we still have one more destination to go. I was planning to not go to Bomod-ok falls and just wait for them in the van, but they say to not let go of the “chance”, it’s not everyday that you go here. So even though my thighs and legs and my whole body is screaming loudly of pain, I still went to Bomod-ok. Again, it’s worth it.

But before we proceed to Bomod-ok falls, we had lunch at the place called St. Matthew’s Episcopal Church, but unfortunately forgot the name of the restaurant that offers boodle-fight style menu. It was okay. Their juice is fresh. I like it. But their chicken is cold. Mehe. Everything is cold there. Unless you’re going to heat it.

Moving forward, after an hour or two of resting in the place, having a conversation and getting to know each other, we continue our journey.

There are almost more than a thousand steps before reaching Bomod-ok falls and the idea of climbing those stairs to get back to where our van was is already exhausting D:
That’s why we chose another path. Steeper than the stairs, but has more beautiful view.

Bomod-ok falls water is freakingly cold x 100 than Sumaging’s!!!! It’s like my blood stopped running lol. Pero actually, mas mahaba pa talaga yung nilakad namin sa in-stay namin sa falls kasi super lamig talaga. xD

I think we left Bomod-ok falls around 4pm, and took the trail less traveled lol. I mean, we didn’t choose to take the same path going to Bomod-ok falls. And we’re glad we didn’t. Because we experienced and we appreciated the beauty of Sagada more in the harder way. Harder way means, pataas talaga hingal si ako e. Nakakalula pa.

Anyway, the name of our tour-guide to Bomod-ok is Ate Gladys. She is so kind and patient to us. Hope she smile a lot. :)

After Bomod-ok was Lake Danum — to hopefully watch the sunset. But to our disappointment, we didn’t see the sunset. We went back to hotel instead and choose to take a rest… not. Hehe. We actually played UNO cards in our room and drank a little of alcohol despite having tired bodies.

Our Day 3 was spent packing things up and going to Baguio. I must say that we didn’t actually enjoy the Baguio side trip due to limited time. We only got the chance to stop over at Good Shepherd, and spent an hour or two in Burnham Park to have lunch.

We had lunch at Good Taste Resto, and the funny thing here: others are at the other branch while our feet (and google map) led us to the main branch. I AM SO EXHAUSTED walking almost 100 meters back and forth!!!

I don’t have any idea that there are two branches of Good Taste in Baguio. My sister, friend, and I went to find the comfort room while the others went straight ahead to the resto to order food. Naloka ako, seryoso. Gutom much pagdating namin sa branch kung nasaan sila. :( hehe but again, worth it na naman — that lead to some realizations.

One thing I realized while in this trip.

“Nothing safe is worth the drive”. This is actually Taylor Swift’s lyrics in her Treacherous song. Well, my interpretation is this: if you never try something different or something that makes your heart pound at its fastest, you might be letting go of a beautiful chance.

So this, this was my journey to Sagada with some newly-found friends!!! I’d love to go back here someday. Maybe not to go spelunking or trekking, but to simply write… and maybe meet new people too. :)

an aftermath post from my Sagada trip. one of the realizations i had, lalo na nung nasa cave, nakalimutan ko lang isulat sa nakaraang post.

sinabi ko ito sa friend ko nung pabalik na kami from Bomod-ok. bigla kasing sinabi nung guide namin na “sundan niyo lang yung tinapakan / ginawa ng nauna sa inyo” or something like that, then nung tinry ko na, hindi naman tugma sa akin. nahirapan ako lalo. doon ko naisip, yeah, that one worked out for him/her, pero sa’kin, it’s a no. charot. hindi suitable.

nai-relate ko tuloy sa totoong buhay. i mean, sa ibang aspeto ng buhay (ko). these past few days, napapaisip kasi ako e. insecurities and anxieties were trying to enter the picture once again. hindi naman siguro ito mawawala ‘no? parang once or several times in our lives, iyong dalawang iyan magpaparamdam. tipong okay naman, smooth ang byahe mo then may batong sumulpot out of nowhere, and suddenly nasira na yung gulong. nailiko mo pa sa ibang daan.

maliit na bagay kung ang example ko lang ay yung nangyare sa akin nung trip pero kung susuriin, malaking epekto ito sa mindset e. lalo na sa mga hindi sure, or naiinip, or nagdududa sa mga ginagawa nila.

like mahself, bakit pa ako lalayo?

may mga times na hindi ko na alam kung may patutunguhan pa ba ang lahat ng mga ginagawa ko, kung may pag-asa pang magawa ko yung gusto ko, o simpleng mapuntahan ko yung isang lugar na walang alalahanin. sa ngayon kasi, parang unti-unti nang nawawala lahat ng sparks sa loob (naks sparks, parang engine lang. ehe) — the goals, the wants, the standard na unconsciously kong nai-set sa sarili ko. like, nasaan na iyong mga iyon? minsan hindi ko na nga naiisip e. go with the flow na lang, come what may. bahala na. nawalan na ng gana e… sad nuh. parang halamang kakarampot na lang ang dahon at hinahayaan na lang malanta.

well anyway, balik na tayo sa title nung post, lumalayo na naman ako. kahit papaano naman, nakaka-motivate yung idea ‘di ba? tipong pasuko ka na, ayaw mo na maglakad pero maiisip mo, baka mali ka lang talaga ng nilalakaran. o kaya ibang paa pala dapat yung ihahakbang mo, ‘di fit sa semento; o baka yung daan na iyon hindi para sa iyo, baka kailangan mong mag-try ng iba; o lumiko; o magtanong ng direction.

sabi naman nila, may kaniya-kaniya tayong time frame ‘di ba? wala namang nahuhuli. may kaniya-kaniya din tayong speed limit, maaaring mabagal sa kanya, pero pinakamabilis na iyon para sa’yo.